Chronos*

I feel I am fading as time goes by. I know it sounds trivial, but it is a relatively new feeling to me.

I realised something: I am growing as a person, I am getting more creative, funny, interesting, deep, experienced. But all this is only inside. I don't care about the inside! I want my physique to be stable, my body to be young!

Sure my inner world when I am 90 will be radiating. Who cares? I will be a disgusting, disfigured, decayed peace of meat!

Why is everything getting better but not the thing that matters most?
What can I do with a Porsche in 20 years, when I will be least suited to enjoy it? What can I do with my complete freedom to do as I please, liberated of all constraints, financial, philosophical or other, if I am becoming too bored, too lazy, too satiated to enjoy it?

Why dont't we have the things and ideas we need, in the time we can enjoy them most? There really seems to be some imbalance here...


*means time